This blog has been in the making since I entered the PLUR world of Ultra Music Festival in 2012.
I was an anorexic bulimic, depressed, scared and waiting for someone to tell me who I was.
And during those three days a lot of someones did. Or rather, helped show me who they were so I could see the beauty in myself.
From the girls that walked around so comfortable in their (very bare) skin, to the boys that complimented me to the kandi I received. And the smiles I got for just being me. And the vibrations of the music that awoke something in me that I didn't know existed. And Group Therapy-oh you know what I mean.
That blur of sober (yes sober) partying, dancing, living and loving turned me onto something that I didn't think existed in this world.
Love.
And ever since then I've been on my journey to recover from my eating disorder and it's been one hell of a ride.
I'm here to share how EDM is saving my life one bass drop at a time.
To give encouragement to other girls in the community.
To show others what I believe the scene is about and can do for people--eating disorder or not.
So just so we're fully acquainted here's me at UMF:
I knew who Skrillex was and that neon was cool and that girls wore headbands the wrong way:
(I mean I even bought a YOLO tank)
I was in AA trying to figure out my relationships with substances and unknowingly my overall impulse control issues. I was actively engaging in restricting and purging and over exercising. I hated what I looked like and longed to feel ok in my ok skin. I had tried Overeaters Anonymous and that helped me feel less alone but I was still so lost.
At UMF I watched others experiment, rave, rage and I drank and insane amount of caffeine. I loved this world that seemed so happy, loving, easy and yet so unattainable.
And here I am now, just out of out patient from The Emily Program in Seattle, I have not binged or purged or restricted in 18 days straight and have come light years from that girl who wore her first fluffies.
I'm not cured, I'm not perfect, but I'm a hell of a lot happier, healthier and whole.
My hope for this blog is it to be a place where you all can come to relate, vent, listen and learn. I can help offer coping skills, perspective on body image, the industry and I don't know what else! I'm just really excited to start this endeavor.
Follow my instagram: kris_wilhelmy
Follow my twitter: @EDm_Recovery
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